"So where have u been baby?"
said his passive tone, for he had known that I had ran away from his calls again, but did’nt want to admit it.
My voice squirmed for air, but I could’nt breath I had to face him and tell him to let me out ...of us.
"I’ve been just doing me..." I struggled... and then went silent......my pregnant pause said more than my words.
He knew that I was doing it again. That I was running away from his heart... that I was pulling away.. trying to find my freedom.
"Listen Dennis, If you don’t know if you want to be with me, just let me know. I can give you your freedom"
I sighed, and my words replaced my tears and began to drop like rain..
" I..don’t ..think...it’s .. the ...right... time... for ... me.. to... be.. with... you."
I exhaled..
" I...did’nt... think... that.. I ... would... feel... this..way..about ...us...."
I exhaled again...
"I...Think ... I...just ....want ..to ..be single.... and ...i’m sorry... for....ev..er..ry...thing...I ...put...you...through."
"It’s ok". he said.
"We can be friends" he said.
with no questions... no plees....The man I love...set me free.. giving me the dominion to do whatever i want again. But oneday later as I woke up from a sleep that echoed his voice from every angle in my mind, I realized that my new found freedom came with an exspensive price; longing. I am free, I am wishing for the man I love, and there is nothing sweet about it.
Monday, January 12, 2009
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Wow...all of the pauses between the break up convo indicated that you loved him and would miss him if you he were not with you...yet you did not go with your 1st instinct...prime example of living, loving, and learning
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