The Price is Right.

"I'm tired of this shit"

After another argument. After another war I began to question if I could afford the love of Jersey.

It had been almost thirty days since we had seen one another, and from the look of my schedule my pockets and his attitude, I didn't know when I would be ready to see him again.

"Furious, I mean if you don't feel like talking to me... you can definitely go to sleep I mean it's not a big deal to me."

"..."

But it was a big deal to me. For days me and Jersey had been arguing and I just wanted it to stop. But I knew in my heart that it wouldn't... this is Jersey rough, sharp and expensive.

As I got off the phone with him I began to search my heart for change.. nothing... there was no change to be found.. this is how it was.. this is what it was going to be.

I thought about what it had cost me to be with him..The price of our love.. My thoughts turned to "The Taxi Driver", My time, and most importantly my heart. I had given my heart to Jersey, and now I realized that as lovely as he seemed, I could not afford him.

Our love may have been great... but it had become too expensive. Our longing had lasted a second too long, and turned our love into limbo.

"Whatever Jersey"....click!

I may not have realized it then, but that night when I hung up the phone....I threw in the towel as well. I had packed my baggage and was finally ready to leave.. my hope had gone bankrupt, and my heart was broke as hell.

We broke up 2 days later. Too far to give a kiss we sat silent on the phone...and even though "The Taxi Driver has moved on, and my time will never be replaced..

Jersey loved me enough to give me back my most expensive bid...my heart. When I walked away from him.. I felt hurt, and lonely...but i know in time I will heal.. I don't know when I will love again or who it will be for that matter.... but one thing is for sure... I will not place my heart into the trust another mans hands ...

until I know the price is right.